Where did the “merry” go?

Once again, Christmas is over more quickly than it began. It wasn’t as enjoyable as previous ones, continuing a sad trend in holiday celebrations as family and other dynamics come into play.

I keep wondering if the seasonal retail push which starts around late summer tends to take the celebratory edge off this holiday. We all joke about how the shops start pushing Christmas paraphernalia along with Halloween and that started with back-to-school items around July 4th. Each year, the merchandising mayhem starts earlier and earlier. Sometimes I question why we have calendars marking holidays each year given the retail markets move with a totally different game plan.

For me, the magic has disappeared. Maybe it’s just getting older along with dealing with familial divides that have resulted in empty chairs around the dining room table. A large part is the absence of happy little feet and active imaginations bounding through the door and heading straight for our gigantic tree. Even that tree, once festooned with precious ornaments, along with decorations tucked everywhere else in the house, has taken a huge minimalist step back. Piles of gifts that overwhelmed the living room are no more, they’ve been replaced by gift cards or checks tucked into a letter or holiday card.

I’m a realist, aware that many of us can never again enjoy those wondrous feelings and beliefs. After a certain age Christmas stops feeling as it used to because our brain develops and stop functioning as it did when we were young children. Christmas is so magical and fills our hearts with warmth and comfort because as children that’s how we stored it in our memories. But as we grow older we start producing more cognitive thoughts. Children are so happy because they don’t process things the same way. Everything is surface level, what you see is what you get. We get older and even though holidays like Christmas come around, life still goes on. We have the same problems, the same pain, etc. We didn’t have those problems at Christmas as children. Christmas was just Christmas: a time for gifts and great food and beautiful surroundings. We had no worries or stress. We don’t have that luxury as adults. It’s sad, but it’s just true.

Yes, Christmas is over and there are few good memories to look back upon. I keep thinking about why this has turned into just another day; where did the merry go?

From the Writer’s Workshop: How was your Christmas? Was it as good as previous ones? Tell us!

Signature

The Day the Magic Died…

Inspiration plays a large part in much of what I write about.  Opinions and experiences.  The multitude of memories tucked inside each event in my life finds motivation coming from many different directions.  At any given time, my writings may reflect a need to opine, even levy some critique at a person or issue.

This is not one of those times as what I share is, quite simply, a lament, even a humble tribute to someone special.

When your children marry, it can be a blessing to be graced with extended family, traditionally called “the in-laws”, a cold term, at least to me, and one that did not apply in our happy situation.  Our first meeting with our new family, post-engagement of our children, was as if we had been old friends sitting down to dinner and catching up on life.   Within less than ten minutes of getting together to discuss wedding plans, two people, relative strangers who could easily have chosen to keep a comfortable distance, quickly offered to help with the celebratory preparations. That was our beginning with Faye and Leo and has remained that way for the past twenty-five years.

At this moment, we are grieving the loss of a friend, and family, with Leo’s passing a few days ago.  He was so accomplished in all he did but, his greatest achievements (aside from his three children) were the absolute joys of his life… the two Grandsons shared by both our families.

48d3017e-aaa9-4a29-a787-1641a3ec20e2

Part of his obituary reads…”An accomplished and highly skilled magician, Leo would constantly entertain family, friends and sometimes strangers with incredible card play, mentalism, and stagecraft.”  Yes, being with Leo was a magical experience and these words underestimate his ability to captivate others with his talents.  He could leave you breathless with his ingenious, slight-of-hand, tricks but always made you smile in the process.  His wisdom, endless stories, jokes, and the love he shared with everyone…these will forever stand as a testament to the wonderful man he was.

Leo passed away on June 25th, 2020.  Memories and the magic he left behind are immortal.  I think he would approve of these ceremonial words from The International Brotherhood of Magicians.

The magic of earth is over and the mystery of another realm awaits Leo and will be revealed.  All that he shared will remain in our memory as commemoration of his life.

No one entering this world can ever escape sadness. Each in turn must bear burdens, both rich and poor, and in turn, bid loved ones farewell. Each one must suffer that sad goodbye when loved ones come to that final moment, that each in turn must face. But for those who make this life a pledge to the human spirit, there comes the assurance of a memory that made life worth living.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write a blog post inspired by the word: final

I had nothing to really contribute to this current week’s writing prompts, although I did write this about someone special in the lives of my family.  And then I thought…one prompt focused on the word final.  Well, what I’ve shared are my personal, final, thoughts about an individual so worth remembering.  What better way to honor the memory of someone than to have others, outside of our immediate circle, read about the terrific person he was?   I think Leo would enjoy that, immensely, he loved being the center of everyone’s attention.

Signature

Tell me..what is good about good-byes?

I’ve missed ya’ll!  

Nah, I’m not a Southern gal, just an overworked, tired and getting sadder, New Yorker. 

Why sad, you ask?  Well, my oldest Daughter and her two little sons have been visiting for the last several days; they head back to Florida, early tomorrow morning.  I’ve had the luxury of all four of my Grandkids screaming, yelling, pissing and moaning and asking to be fed constantly.  Wouldn’t change any of that for all the tea in China, either.  I am  The Gramma…hear me roar!

                              

I so hate good-byes and miss so many of the important moments of Jake and Jaden’s growing-up due to the miles between us.  Sure, I could hop a plane (after a lengthy and invasive pat-down from the TSA) and visit but, it’s not as easy as it used to be, given the economy and so many other things.  So, for now, I look forward to their twice a year visits and try not to dwell on their leaving..once again.

We’ve had a busy, busy, busy time this trip, entertaining the kids (they dragged me to go Bowling, would you believe it?) and…a wonderful wedding dinner in celebration of our son’s recent marriage which has blessed our family with another daughter, Kristy.  She fits right in as if she had been here all along; a very good thing, indeed!

                                                     

I made a cake for their party and thought you might like to see a picture….

                                        

Note:  Warm weather, Fondant and driving 50 miles to a restaurant….not recommended.  Blog post to follow…

So, right now, I’m off to be sad and share the last day of my family’s visit.  That melancholy will continue tomorrow and, after that, I’ll just go back to missing them and feeling grateful that I have them and the rest of my family in my life.

Oh…I was honored to do a Guest Post over at No. 7’s place this morning, grouped in with some pretty fabulous bloggers who shared incredible poetry and stories.  Kelli’s back now so please, stop by and welcome her home!

Signature