Once bitten…

 

tumblr_nhep2b1h2E1rxf4sko1_1280

Not that anyone asked, or is even interested in knowing, one of my biggest defense mechanisms has always been putting up safe barriers.  Anytime my comfort zone feels threatened, the wall goes up.  Fast!

I’ve made the mistake of getting too close to people and quickly opt to curtail any means of communication with them.  The old, once bitten, twice shy, kicks into full overdrive and I run for cover.  We all do that, I’m sure.  At least I’d like to think so.  From lying low on social media sites, ignoring private messages and just becoming somewhat invisible, it happens.

Frankly, even though all the avoidance fundamentals are in perfect harmony, this can be a big mistake.  Like, what does it really prove?  The result often can be to lose people who needed to be shaken off from my life but others who really matter get dumped in the process.  Putting up some damn unreachable barrier is an act of self-preservation focused on keeping ourselves from getting hurt.  Again.

But, and this is a really big “but” …the true loss is closing oneself off from people who always shared their concern, affection and love.  And plain old friendship, to boot.

Time to do an about face and never close up like that again.  Despite the pain, continue to open up while remembering that vulnerability does not equate to weakness, it refers to the ability to trust in yourself.  You, me, the other person…hey, we will all be okay in the long run.  Hurt happens but move past it and learn to trust.  By opening that door of trust, hopefully, we will all be treated right.  And learn to do the same in return.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write about a mistake you made.

Signature

To do…or not

images

At present, I’m desperately trying to put some thoughts together that will result in a post worth reading.  In the process, what I am really doing is trying to avoid a list of “must do’s” sitting here on my desk.  What’s amazing is that my mind is totally unaware that I’m deliberately avoiding that list.

Well, not completely.  The list is glaring at me like a car’s high beams coming at me in the opposite direction and I choose to mentally label each written item in order of their priority and attempt to move on.  I said…attempt.  Easier said than done.

My guilt sets in to tap me on the shoulder and reminds me of business paperwork, taxes, emails, summer to fall and winter clothes closet swap (that’s a mouthful), yard decorations, planters and the tenting from our Pergola…all waiting for my immediate attention.  And, almost forgot the perennials, some that will need a haircut before they set in for a long winter’s nap.

Oh, I’ll get everything done.  Sooner or later.  At least once I shove all my procrastination aside.  I can run…but I cannot hide.  For now, I’ll just keep writing and face everything later.  Maybe next week.

That works.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write about something you try to avoid.

Signature

Time traveler…

 

118071708_2626018117652153_1875005978711688683_o

As a child, I couldn’t wait for time to pass.  What kid doesn’t?  In fact, I often prayed that it would just skip or run along at a maddening pace and move me to a better place.  But, almost like a punishment, it moved even slower and at times it felt as if it was moving in reverse.  All I could do was imagine what the future might be like if, and when, I arrived at my long-visualized moment in time.

I know, I know, be careful what you wish for.  I hear you Aesop, loud and clear.  Wishes are all a child might have on the twisted road leading to adulthood.  And childhood dreams are a pathway, even a needed escape.

Suddenly, you find yourself right here only now you look back and wish all that time was still in front of you.  The chance of any moments standing still, even lingering like a lazy summer afternoon, have become one more forgotten dream.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop… Write a blog post in exactly 10 lines.

Signature