Dream on…

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The old dreams were good dreams; they didn’t work out, but I’m glad I had them.

And, in the middle of each vision that came my way, disappointment hid in the background. 

I’m guessing there was, and still is, a lesson to be learned, even some type of discovery. 

That…has always left me second-guessing. 

You know, was there some better way to handle a situation which I managed to keep overlooking or did predestination maintain rule over every stumbling step I attempted to make?

Yet, I held every idea close. 

My hope was that, somehow, and in some way, a realization of what I mentally cherished might magically blossom. 

That optimistic, and elusive, state of mind gave me reason for that word hope which encompasses a wish or a desire.

Just plain wanting something, anything, positive to happen.  One must have hope, right?  And with that bit of cockeyed optimism, one must dream.

Yes, yes, the old dreams were good dreams; they didn’t work out but I’m glad I had them.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop….Two prompts in one:  Write a blog post in exactly 12 lines and…Write a post that begins and ends with the same sentence.

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Hope…like a Butterfly

Hope departed when she died.  I often talk about it being the second time she left me…without saying good-bye.

Throughout her illness, I held out the hope that she might remember.  She rarely did.  Like a butterfly struggling to break free from its cocoon, her memories darted in and out of the sunlight, fought against the darkness of every night, and me.

Still, there was always that chance she might turn her head and recognize that I was part of her life.  Or had been, once.

It was overwhelming, at times a helpless feeling, as I stood  in the shadows of that familiar stranger wanting to become the missing piece of her puzzle of forgetfulness.  A puzzle left scattered, never to be completed.

Hope, for me, departed on June 29th, 2006, on the wings of a butterfly who never looked back, taking with it many desires and needs and dreams.  While hope can carry on its back an entire soul, lifting up sorrow and bringing back joy, it also takes many forms, depending on your perspective; wildly positive or very reserved, almost cautious. Most of us hope for better days, health, happiness or just some release of a heavy burden.  For me, it was the hope that my late mother would remember something beyond the walls of what Alzheimer’s allowed.  I kept hoping she would remember…me.  

 

When she passed away, that hope went along with her.   

 

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