Life happens…

High School…Senior Year.

So many dreams for the future mixed with an incredible amount of uncertainty with what might lie ahead.

For those with both feet firmly planted on the pathway to college or some career, there was little doubt in place.  For others, like me, there was one choice, a dream even, with what was on my horizon.  That was a constant topic in 12th grade.  What college did you pick?  Where will you be working?  And of course, for those who had been high school “couples” of record, the inevitable… Will you get married after school?

org-1960s-american-airlines-stewardess-college_1_562890add917b6ce55d9a32a611c6a1f

Just one thing was on my agenda.  Stewardess College.  That’s what it was called, back in the day. 

I had the application filled-out, ready to attend the American Airlines facility in Dallas, Texas.  As I recall, being 18 at the time, both parental signatures were required on the form and I had just one, my fathers.  My mother, another story.  Mind you, I had that paperwork tucked away once I started my senior year but my mother always refused to discuss it when I broached the subject with her.  Airplanes crash! was always her basic response but that was her way, much like being at the beach and hearing her say You’ll drown! each time I went into the water.  Ahhh, the downside of my being an only child.

Graduation slowly moved closer and so did my application.  One more attempt to get my mother to sign failed miserably the week before commencement.  And, she managed to convince my father to set me up with an office position with Bell Telephone.  To both of them, my future looked bright, at least through their glasses, but not mine.  That one dream I held so close ended up being torn into pieces and thrown in the wastebasket.

Was it the right thing?  I’ll never know but I sure as hell will always wonder.  A missed opportunity to spread my wings disappeared with an argument and a parental mandate.  Every young person should have that chance to grow and experience life’s unknown territories.  But, that was more than fifty years ago, when kids mostly listened, and obeyed, their parents.  We trusted their judgement and relied on whatever wisdom we thought they had even if that was based on their desire to retain some element of control.

Life will happen, in spite of it all and although we take those roads less traveled or make a few detours along the way, we all end up just where we’re supposed to be. 

I’ve learned that, if nothing more. 

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Share a 12th grade memory.  Trust me, I gave a lot of thought back then to simply forging my mothers name on that application.  I mean, what could have happened once I had my suitcase packed and got out the door to the airport?  The hardest part would have been finding someone to drive me to JFK.  Woulda, coulda, shoulda!

Signature

Hello…it’s me!

images

If there is anything favorable which has emerged with this COVID-19 nightmare, it’s bringing people together but at the required safe-distance.  Behind that is…time… and plenty of it as most people are hunkered-down in some element of self-imposed quarantine.  Suddenly, we have the almost unwanted luxury of little or nothing to do and plenty of time to do it in…perfect for the procrastinators of the world.  Like me. 

Let’s face it, the daily chores aren’t going anywhere and, in a moment fueled by a sudden burst of energy, laced with a sprinkling of focus, we’ll all dive into that pile of “something” we’ve been putting off.  But first, we watch the news for virus updates.  Then, onto Netflix before moving onto social media, just to check up on what everyone else is doing and swipe a damn funny Meme now and then… to share on Instagram.  We (me/I) troll Facebook walls to see how friends are coping and share a kind word when needed or…run like hell when someone is spewing things political from their home cave-dwelling.  Sorry, boys and girls, this is a time for everyone to pull together and beating up our national and local governments over this pandemic is almost self-defeating.   We know where any and all blame lies for the spread of this virus, move past it, get over it, and start being pro-active in flattening the damn curve and bringing the spread to an effing halt!!

Okay.  All of this being said, over and over and over…one nice thing, a positive, at present.  At least for me.  Having the time (yes that time-thing again) to contact friends you don’t normally speak with.  Interaction with most usually involves back and forth texting or other forms of electronic engagement, but…picking up the phone and enjoying a long conversation with a friend from school, or anywhere, can be a treat.  More so than family.  Family k n o w s where you are and just assumes that, if and when they call, you will answer.  They know your routine, you know theirs, and in many ways, there’s little to “chat” about.  Is it boredom with this entire situation…or indifference?  Certainly, there is great underlying anger with having to cope with a situation which has impacted everyone’s lives so greatly.  Much like what we all experienced after 9/11/01.  But, if that unspeakable tragedy taught us one thing…it was to keep our families closer than ever before.  Now especially. 

Until we can safely hug them again.

 

 

Signature

The sign…

images

Now and then, a writing prompt jumps off my screen and starts pushing my buttons for a response.  Possibly, that’s in line with my zodiac sign, even a personality flaw which pushes my need to elaborate beyond all reasonable boundaries.  Ah, yes, that’s a Virgo, feet planted firmly in some ideal that our immediate world has for us and the intense pressure on how we feel we should view ourselves.  My goal always tends to be perfect in all I do and boy, do I get frustrated when that isn’t possible.  I’d venture a guess that, for most of us, these life goals are essentially every damn thing you want to accomplish in life before passing on, the important stuff others remember you by when you are no longer around.  And, goals give you purpose and direction in guiding your life.

 

It’s said that Virgos have one of the best memories of all zodiac signs.  That…is a biggie, at least for me, having a mother who suffered with Alzheimer’s disease.  The fear of basically losing my mind to the warfare of dementia may be a guiding factor of my birth sign, a daily quest in not forgetting everything and everyone important in my life.  Often, at work, someone will make a snarky criticism on something they felt I should have remembered and pushes that above mentioned button.  Most of my positive personality traits immediately turn negative and I launch into an overly-analytical response in defense.  Any criticism brings forth frustration and my very short temper.  And, yes, I am an extreme nit-picker!  Don’t judge.

 

I do try to be supportive of the people in my life and will, at times, give all benefit of the doubt, always maintaining some critical reserve.  Just in case.  I can be very passive-aggressive if I’m not sure of someone rather than making it clear that I don’t care for them.   Do I go to an occasional extreme with attention to detail?  Hell, yes.  Way more than just occasional.  The thought of not doing something well, or under-performing, often stops me from doing that task at all, just to avoid being challenged…or corrected.  Sometimes, being needed too often causes me to not have enough time and I’m like the White Rabbit, running from here to there saying “Oh dear!  Oh dear! I shall be too late!”  Under all this zodiac madness is the drive to stay busy, focused and give everything I do great attention to detail and perfection. 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop…What does your birth sign say about you? Is it correct?  All in all, I’d say my birth sign is pretty much on-target.  I enjoy being somewhat of a master planner with attention to detail and pretty much have a reputation for taking responsibility and picking up slack in certain situations.  Mostly, I try to think of everything…because I’m so fearful of forgetting.

Signature