Just STOP!

Writing, anything, as least as it pertains to myself, is strictly just what I feel like sharing, at any given moment.  And, I am a Writer, as far as I am concerned.  Words that fly from my fingers, after escaping like jailbirds from being incarcerated in my brain for way too long, aren’t always pretty.  But, they’re mine.  I write the way I speak.  Brutally honest but always, always, from my heart.  

I came across a blog post from a friend recently, gave it a few re-reads, and sat on my response for a bit.  This friend gave me much encouragement when I first started writing, years ago.  I’ve shared bits and pieces from my, still a work-in-progress, book of memoirs with her, always grateful for her critique.  A later step in establishing my own website was based on the title of that book.  My domain, my little internet footprint, has become my space to share and sound-off, now and then, at the indignities of our world. 

But this isn’t about me.  It’s about you, your family, neighbors and people you don’t even know.  You see, these fractured personalities tend to lurk everywhere, often going unnoticed, more likely, deliberately ignored.  Why is it that there almost seems to be more pro-activeness on the part of parents and schools where drugs and alcohol are concerned, more attention given to situations where kids have access to dangerous weapons but…bullying…tends to slip through the cracks of acceptable behavior?  Don’t think so?

Trust me, it sure as hell does! 

In fact, I’m a bully and so is everyone else who has, and does, engage in what I call…indirect bullying.  Think about every time we throw a shot out at some politician or some celebrity.  A joke, snide comment or downright insult, all which may garner a few chuckles or a lot of “likes” on social media but, hey, it’s not being done in a direct manner.  And none of these individuals who are the brunt of our jokes will ever really know, or give a rat’s ass, about our comments.  Maybe, in some twisted way, removing any reaction justifies what we do.

Think some more.

Around us are children, impressionable and very judgmental.  Most tend to copy the bad behaviors of their parents and families, only to inflict those negative actions on others, generally in a school environment.  Given that there is strength in numbers, the power of even a small group of bullies can be overwhelming to any child.  To prey on a perceived weakness, to ridicule over any issue where a particular “group” seeks to marginalize another kid, for any damn reason…is beyond unacceptable, it’s downright criminal.  Where is the accountability?

Why should any family be forced to basically withdraw from life around them, even going so far as to relocate in order to escape the constant torment their children face at school?  Why should any young person be pushed to unreasonable limits where they question their existence because of bullying, or worse?  How can any parent feign self-serving shock at the very thought their child engages in hurtful and destructive interactions with other kids?  And, please, save any misguided ideology from a parental perspective which involves kids doing what they do; stop passing any blame on the internet, video games, social media, rap music, affluency, poverty…. just stop it!  Kids are not bullies by nature, that reprehensible behavior is learned from adults. The communication every parent has with their child is instrumental with helping them grow into a decent human being.  In simple terms, children learn what they live.  Remember that.

It begins with you.

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The Day the Magic Died…

Inspiration plays a large part in much of what I write about.  Opinions and experiences.  The multitude of memories tucked inside each event in my life finds motivation coming from many different directions.  At any given time, my writings may reflect a need to opine, even levy some critique at a person or issue.

This is not one of those times as what I share is, quite simply, a lament, even a humble tribute to someone special.

When your children marry, it can be a blessing to be graced with extended family, traditionally called “the in-laws”, a cold term, at least to me, and one that did not apply in our happy situation.  Our first meeting with our new family, post-engagement of our children, was as if we had been old friends sitting down to dinner and catching up on life.   Within less than ten minutes of getting together to discuss wedding plans, two people, relative strangers who could easily have chosen to keep a comfortable distance, quickly offered to help with the celebratory preparations. That was our beginning with Faye and Leo and has remained that way for the past twenty-five years.

At this moment, we are grieving the loss of a friend, and family, with Leo’s passing a few days ago.  He was so accomplished in all he did but, his greatest achievements (aside from his three children) were the absolute joys of his life… the two Grandsons shared by both our families.

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Part of his obituary reads…”An accomplished and highly skilled magician, Leo would constantly entertain family, friends and sometimes strangers with incredible card play, mentalism, and stagecraft.”  Yes, being with Leo was a magical experience and these words underestimate his ability to captivate others with his talents.  He could leave you breathless with his ingenious, slight-of-hand, tricks but always made you smile in the process.  His wisdom, endless stories, jokes, and the love he shared with everyone…these will forever stand as a testament to the wonderful man he was.

Leo passed away on June 25th, 2020.  Memories and the magic he left behind are immortal.  I think he would approve of these ceremonial words from The International Brotherhood of Magicians.

The magic of earth is over and the mystery of another realm awaits Leo and will be revealed.  All that he shared will remain in our memory as commemoration of his life.

No one entering this world can ever escape sadness. Each in turn must bear burdens, both rich and poor, and in turn, bid loved ones farewell. Each one must suffer that sad goodbye when loved ones come to that final moment, that each in turn must face. But for those who make this life a pledge to the human spirit, there comes the assurance of a memory that made life worth living.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write a blog post inspired by the word: final

I had nothing to really contribute to this current week’s writing prompts, although I did write this about someone special in the lives of my family.  And then I thought…one prompt focused on the word final.  Well, what I’ve shared are my personal, final, thoughts about an individual so worth remembering.  What better way to honor the memory of someone than to have others, outside of our immediate circle, read about the terrific person he was?   I think Leo would enjoy that, immensely, he loved being the center of everyone’s attention.

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Life happens…

High School…Senior Year.

So many dreams for the future mixed with an incredible amount of uncertainty with what might lie ahead.

For those with both feet firmly planted on the pathway to college or some career, there was little doubt in place.  For others, like me, there was one choice, a dream even, with what was on my horizon.  That was a constant topic in 12th grade.  What college did you pick?  Where will you be working?  And of course, for those who had been high school “couples” of record, the inevitable… Will you get married after school?

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Just one thing was on my agenda.  Stewardess College.  That’s what it was called, back in the day. 

I had the application filled-out, ready to attend the American Airlines facility in Dallas, Texas.  As I recall, being 18 at the time, both parental signatures were required on the form and I had just one, my fathers.  My mother, another story.  Mind you, I had that paperwork tucked away once I started my senior year but my mother always refused to discuss it when I broached the subject with her.  Airplanes crash! was always her basic response but that was her way, much like being at the beach and hearing her say You’ll drown! each time I went into the water.  Ahhh, the downside of my being an only child.

Graduation slowly moved closer and so did my application.  One more attempt to get my mother to sign failed miserably the week before commencement.  And, she managed to convince my father to set me up with an office position with Bell Telephone.  To both of them, my future looked bright, at least through their glasses, but not mine.  That one dream I held so close ended up being torn into pieces and thrown in the wastebasket.

Was it the right thing?  I’ll never know but I sure as hell will always wonder.  A missed opportunity to spread my wings disappeared with an argument and a parental mandate.  Every young person should have that chance to grow and experience life’s unknown territories.  But, that was more than fifty years ago, when kids mostly listened, and obeyed, their parents.  We trusted their judgement and relied on whatever wisdom we thought they had even if that was based on their desire to retain some element of control.

Life will happen, in spite of it all and although we take those roads less traveled or make a few detours along the way, we all end up just where we’re supposed to be. 

I’ve learned that, if nothing more. 

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Share a 12th grade memory.  Trust me, I gave a lot of thought back then to simply forging my mothers name on that application.  I mean, what could have happened once I had my suitcase packed and got out the door to the airport?  The hardest part would have been finding someone to drive me to JFK.  Woulda, coulda, shoulda!

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