A rose, by any other name, might be a Mother…..

I’m an early riser; my sleep patterns have remained fairly altered since my mother lived here and I learned to then survive on maybe two, or three hours of rest a night. That hasn’t changed much for I am still awakened in the middle of the night from a noise in the house or the sound of someone yelling.

Who, or what, is behind the ruckus, it’s always the same…a ghost, a shadow of my mother, angry and scared, nothing more.

During her episodes of sundowning, I would try to affect some reason, some calming words to settle her down and put my arms around her to comfort her outbursts.  Nothing worked except for cookies; a sweet distraction from her, sometimes violent, episodes.  As she sat and munched away, I would always take the opportunity to try and tune-in to whatever channel her mind was on at that moment.  It was always the wrong one. She would promptly dismiss me with her usual, “who are you?” and my retreat out of her room could not be fast enough.

I went outside to have my morning coffee today, standing on the deck near some miniature roses given to me by my daughter Jill for Mother’s Day. One tiny red bloom emerged, holding a raindrop between its petals much like a mother holding a newborn child.

rose-flower-petal-rain-wet-raindrop                                                      

When the sun eventually finds its way out of the cloud cover, that raindrop will disappear, leaving the rose-mother with empty arms.

Until it rains again, or the rose just withers away…..and dies.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write about a time you thought there was a ghost.

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Sounds…

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However slight, sudden noises in the night manage to wake me.  It’s been like this since she lived with us and hasn’t changed in the twelve years since she passed.  Every creak from the attic or sound of footsteps takes me back and puts me on alert.

Some nights, she’s still down the hall, talking to someone who isn’t there.  The soft conversations last, on and off, for hours and often escalate into full-blown yelling episodes with someone standing in the shadows of her mind.

When all seems to become quiet, underlying noises emerge, almost like a forewarning of what is to follow.  Soon, one more escape out the door.  Back to what little she could remember from all that Alzheimer’s had taken away.

Once again, I sit up in bed and listen for five or ten minutes, waiting for her door to open.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s….Listen to the sounds in your house for 5 or 10 minutes. Write about what you hear.

 

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Doorway…

 

Another night of unsettling screams.  Cursewords mixed with prayers spread throughout the darkness.  Any chance of sleep was fleeting, just like the memories escaping from the room down the hall.  It would go on for hours, frenetic energy, fueled by a demon who made her keep searching and held the person she once was…hostage. 

I stood outside the doorway to her room, waiting for that one right moment to enter, hoping she might remember, armed in case she didn’t.  Tonight, my weapon of choice was a plate with oatmeal cookies instead of the graham crackers that she hated.  For a moment, I was a little girl again, clutching a teddy bear for comfort,  wanting, needing a mother who wasn’t there.

 

 

 

Flicker of Inspiration Prompt #53: Pitch Perfect

This week your Flicker of Inspiration prompt is to give us a pitch. A perfect pitch. Think of the description on the back of your favorite novel, the words that make you buy that book for your Kindle, the short paragraphs that let you know you MUST read that book.

I worked cookies into my pitch because of the role they played when I was caregiver for my late mother, thus the name of my book, “Another cookie, please!”.   Just about every combative situation (and there were many) could be dealt with by distracting her with a cookie, preferably chocolate chip.  Once, I made the mistake of handing her graham crackers which she promptly flung back at me.   The crackers made it clear across the kitchen table.  She had a good arm.

 

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