Rainy afternoons and Bridal Showers……

best-friends-friendship-quotes-girlfriends-love-Favim.com-3403575

 

Today was a good day for a Bridal Shower; not perfect, mind you, just enjoyable, with a hint of Fall lingering in the air. Cloudy skies gave way to sprinklings of rain while small gusts of wind kept peeking into the huge tent that rested on the banks of the Hudson River.  Inside, guests shivered and kept talking about “how nice this would have been if it was sunny out” while they sipped their Mimosa’s.  Off in a corner was a table piled high with treasure, gifts of all sizes wrapped in an assortment of colors, ribbons and silk flowers, one prettier than the other. You could almost hear little voices from within each box yelling “Open Me First!”  

Sitting at a table close to me was my best friend, Helene`, from a long time ago.  We’ve managed to see each other, now and then, at events both happy and sad; I often think back to the times I made believe that I was part of her family while we were growing up, spending as much time as possible at her home.  Years ago, we conjured up some distant relations from my side and hers that made us family and always called each other “Cuz”.

This Sunday gathering, of family and friends, was in honor of her nephew’s future wife and it presented one more opportunity to talk about how Helene` and I first met.  Back in the 1940’s, her father dated my mother until he went off to war, ended up being stationed in France and met a lovely woman who would later become his wife.  Meanwhile…stateside, my mother, a singer with the U.S.O, met a sailor who was on Navy leave before shipping out to the South Pacific; that man would eventually be my father.

Are you following all this?  Good.

The men returned from their military and naval service, married, had kids and stayed friendly, even visiting once or twice after the war ended.  Helene` and I met up again in Junior High School, not having seen each other since we were 4 years old.  During those few years we shared teen-age heartbreak over boyfriends and the fun of weekly roller-skating at a nearby Boy’s Club.   Sadly, like too many friends, we drifted apart before high school ended; she went away to Grace Downs Airline School and I went to work for New York Telephone….and envied her.  We connected again in time for me to be the Maid of Honor at her wedding and then she was once again..gone.  Our lives went on to take many different turns but when we did manage to see each other, she always seemed so happy and content….and I envied her still.  

Recently, I sent her the link to my blog and today, we sat and talked like little had changed between us….but something had.  We both realized that, as friends, we shared some, but not all secrets.  Each of us had things going on in our lives that we kept hidden inside.  Did that somehow make us less than best friends?  If either of us had known some deep dark secret about the other would we have even remained friends?

I’d like to believe we would have.

I will see her, in just 4 more weeks, at her nephew’s wedding; we’ll sit and talk some more and, when that day’s joyful festivities end, go our separate ways once again.  But, like today, I’ll tell her that I love her when we say good-bye.  She was a positive part of my life; I wouldn’t have gotten through a lot of the pain without her, although she never knew anything about it.

Maybe that’s what true friendship is really all about.

 

workshop-button-1   Tell us about the moment you met your high school best friend.  This Writing Prompt from Mama Kat’s took me back to a piece I wrote back in 2010.  I’ve had friendships over the years but this one will always remain categorized under “best friends”.  A category of just one.

Signature

When I grow up….”I wanna be a Vegernarian!”

Childhood dreams for the future should always be encouraged. Even if you do not have the foggiest idea of what they are about and your own desires involve greater things, acknowledge and support your children’s aspirations.


 

 

My second daughter Jill, our feisty middle child, wanted nothing more than to be a “Vegernarian”; it took her father and me a few years in our attempts to decipher that one. The best we managed to come up with was, a Vegan-oriented, Dr. Doolittle and it suited her to perfection, right up to the animal-loving part, anyway.


I am beyond proud of my daughter, of her ability to function as a great mother and wife along with maintaining a role dedicated to animals. Years ago, she came up with the idea to breed Betta Fish and nearly turned her home into a branch of Sea World. Who would have guessed that she would become the “Fertile Myrtle” of Fishdom, tending to tanks of horny Betta’s all swimming around with that “come hither” look in their fishy eyes and who reproduced on an almost daily basis. Fish were everywhere you looked; on cabinets, bookshelves, bedrooms, bathrooms and the damn things even survived the combined fishing expeditions of Jill’s two cats.



Fortunately, her home-based little business soon ended and Jill turned her attention to what motivates her the most… rescuing discarded, unwanted pets and one where she will go to the mats over any issue surrounding animal abuse.


A recent year long position as Shelter Manager of our local humane society was a short-lived triumph for Jill. Newly adoptive pet families adored her, sending her flowers and bestowing constant praise in her direction. She worked exhaustingly long hours, seven days each week, always on immediate call for any emergency.


Unfortunately, the animal zealots working behind the scenes were determined to undermine Jill’s every endeavor in attempting to bring the shelter up to decent standards. She refused to allow a group of malcontented shelter members to compromise her principles and integrity so she resigned, not wanting to play any part in their dishonest agenda.


I celebrate my daughter and will always be inspired by her strive to push her way out of the middle and into the spotlight of life.


But please, no more Fish…….



This week ‘s Dare to Share Link Up concerns a post about your dream job, what you wanted to be when you grew up as a child…what you want to be now. Tell us about your dreams and how you’re going to make them come true. 

Well, this post, written several months ago,  is about my daughter Jill; her dreams and accomplishments and something I felt worth sharing.

Signature

This one’s for you, No. 7….and you, and you, and you!

The boredom of my 46 mile drive into work allows for some pretty deep thinking.  As I navigated down the mighty Taconic Parkway this morning, that little light went off in my head and I made a bunch of mental notes to get these thoughts out as soon as I got into my office.

One of my “blogging buddies” is on a journey; she shares her experiences; up, down and in-between and I commend her for the eloquence in her writings, her intelligence and…her bravery.   We message back and forth about how we inspire each other; like myself, she grew up with a challenged sense of self-worth, reinforced by family inadequacies that leave one wondering, who am I, how did I get here and why do I stay?

Those questions haunted me for years, chipping away, both at my existence and ability to function as a reasonable, balanced individual.  Then, one day, I was introduced to a book that helped me to make sense of why I lived as an outsider in my own life, and everyone else’s,
Women Who Run With the Wolves, written by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

Briefly, the Synopsis….

Within every woman there is a wild creature–an inner force filled with passion and creativity. Unleashing this natural power and reclaiming the feminine soul is the subject of Women Who Run With the Wolves. Drawing from her work as a Jungian psychoanalyst and poet, Estés uses her own stories and folk tales to inspire a new level of self-knowledge among women everywhere.

It is a long read and a deep one; well worth your time, it certainly was of great help to me.

As it relates to my friend, “No.7”, and anyone else out there, one passage from this book pertains to how we too often feel like we don’t belong, even in our own skin.  Based on folklore, Dr. Estes writes about how various Indian tribes believe that we come to this earth as stars, falling from the sky into the home of a family.  All too often, stars land in the wrong place thus explaining that lack of fitting-in with our parents and extended families; always on the edge of their lives and never quite able to exist in their world.

So, all you wild women out there, grab a copy or the audio version of this book…and then go polish off your star!




Signature