Another cookie, please!

Short, sweet and a little in-between; a few conversations overheard while waiting in an endless line at the post office….

#1 – Bedraggled-looking woman in need of a good hair washing…
“I’m so tired of being sick and having kids home because of snow; all they keep asking me is …what are we doing today, Mommy?…..this week they’re gonna watch me lie on the couch and throw up!”

I silently wept for her children…


#2 – Less unkempt-looking woman, very much in need of an eyebrow and lip waxing….
“I’m amazed at how fast my husband beats it out the f*&king; door when these damn kids are home from school.  I swear I’m making a voodoo doll of the sunuvabitch and will stick pins up his ass.”

Obviously, these women knew each other and I could understand why that husband took off from home like a bat out of hell…..

#1 – Bedraggled-woman again…
“These kids shoulda never been off last week; dumbass schools could have just had a two hour delay.”

#2 – Less unkempt-woman again (goes off in another topic direction)…
“Did you hear Brenda’s babysitter got knocked-up?”

#1 – Bedraggled….
“Again?

I perked up; at this point, the conversation was getting very interesting until…

#3 – Large woman wearing purple coat, red leggings, dark brown UGGS that need condemning, stuffs some type of food item in mouth while talking and just butts in..
“Kim, going to Zumba later?”

It was difficult to stifle my evil side, screaming out from within, that only a miracle, not Zumba, could help….

                                                                     
In the meantime, the man in front of me persistently struggles with an even more persistent wedgie while he complains to the man in front of him that “they need to close this f*&kin;’ post office or at least tell these women working here to stop yakking and move faster!”

My observation is that people waiting in line, at least here in Dogpatch, drop the F-bomb a lot…

 

Then…woman with dreadlocks, standing two spots in front of of Wedgie-man, looks back and asks if her place in line could be held.  Wedgie-man kindly acquiesces to her request while giving his jeans one more yank in all the wrong places.

The three women behind me proceed to drop F-bombs as Dreadlock-lady runs past them, out to her car, muttering nasty comments too low for my delicate ears to hear.  My evil side kicks in again wanting to ask  these women if they eat with those mouths.  Obviously, one does as she’s still sucking down the now indistinguishable food item clutched in her hand. 

 Suddenly, out of nowhere, the postal gods send another clerk to the counter and the line moves rapidly.  Dreadlock-lady fails to return promptly so everyone moves forward as if she never existed and does their postal-business.  I finally make my exit.             

Elapsed waiting time: 32 minutes/18 seconds. 

 

On my way by the three sources of interesting conversation, I notice that woman #3 had dropped the wrapper from her eating binge onto the post office floor. 

 

I asked myself….why do I live here?


Today, the US Postal Service announced that it’s planning on closing at least 2000 thousand post offices as well as reviewing the possible shut-down of another 16,000 nationwide.

 

Wedgie-man should be happy.

 

Flicker of Inspiration Prompt #54: Gone Fishin’

The theme this week is “Gone Fishin’” – write a story with an absent-minded character. The name doesn’t exactly fit, but that’s always what’s written on the sign hanging in the empty brain area in cartoon characters’ heads, often following a scene where the “mental bureaucracy” closes up for the day and all the parts of the brain put on their hats and go home.
So that’s your prompt: write a story with a character whose brain-office isn’t fully staffed, so to speak. No lights on in the attic. Twenty-six cards short of a full deck, a few ticks slower than a minute, you get the idea. They don’t have to be outright stupid, just a bit absent-minded, but your character is your business.

Since I’m presently lacking the brain-matter to create a decent response to this prompt, I dug into my archives and decided to share an older post.  Think about the conversations overheard while we stand on line.  Some are downright outrageous with comments from people containing a 1 watt bulb level of mental capacity.

Here, for your reading pleasure is a mix of abject absent-mindedness, brain-matter leakage and downright ignorance,  from a cast of cartoon characters, gathered around the same fishin’ hole, my local post office.