There is that need, a fundamental one, to be accepted by others, to belong, and such an innate innate drive for social connections means that rejection, whether real or perceived, can be deeply painful. Many of the same brain regions which are involved in physical pain, lead to feelings of hurt and of distress; many of us have been turned down, dismissed, or not accepted at some point in various aspects of life, including relationships, job positions, social groups or personal endeavors.
It’s a common experience that most will encounter at some point, and it can bring forth a range of intense emotions, starting with hurt. Impacted feelings is often a consistent and direct reaction, triggered by the perception that others just do not value a relationship. with the most intense hurt frequently emanating from familial situations.
Then, we have social media and online interactions which create entirely new avenues for rejection, completely blowing situations out of proportion in some cases. Such rejections in this context can be more public, definitely visible, and can lead to increased feelings of shame and embarrassment. Of course, this can be painful but there can be coping mechanisms which allow for growth and resilience.
If we move to accept the reality of a rejection by acknowledging our feelings and allow time for processing we then can learn to recognize that such rejection is often situational and not a reflection of our overall worth. Reach out to friends, family or other means for emotional support and perspective, engage in positive activities, view any rejection as a learning opportunity and a chance to develop new skills or pursue different paths.
Attempt to counter negative thoughts with positive affirmations whenever possible, move to develop coping skills, set necessary boundaries in our social media circles and focus on real-life connections. By doing so, we can navigate rejection effectively, build resilience, emotional protection, and move forward toward personal growth and fulfilling connections.
From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a post based on the word rejection. Write a post in exactly 11 sentences.
Friends, foes; the pretense.
Both circumstances and individual needs is a matter of personal preference where having either a large group of friends or a few, very close, friends are concerned. The diversity of a large social circle exposes us to different ideas, cultures and ways of thinking which benefit our individual creativity and problem-solving skills. On the other hand, having just a few close friends offers us deeper emotional support and connection as close friends provide a strong sense of belonging, purpose and help us cope with difficult times and feelings of loneliness. Of course, there are two schools of thought here, the right balance; either having a few high-quality friendships can be more important for well-being than having a large network in life. The ideal number and type will vary for each of us. Somewhere, in the middle, lies the grey area surrounding all personal interactions.
Strong relationships take time and effort to nurture and maintain and there’s an “11-3-6” rule in friendship which suggests that it takes 11 encounters, each lasting 3 hours over a period of 6 months to turn any acquaintance into a true friend. This idea is based on the concept that building a strong friendship requires consistent time and interaction. Ideally, we all strive to focus on cultivating a manageable number of positive and supportive friendships, either with just a few close friends or a larger group who provides us with meaningful connections. The most important aspect of any friendship is finding those relationships that provide us with connection, support and positive feelings.
Feelings, the operative word here. Actually, gut feelings which play a tremendous role where relationships and friendships are concerned; while a valuable tool for decision making, it’s not always reliable. These feelings, our intuitive sense, can be a valuable tool for both decision-making and navigating friendships, helping us to identify red flags or potential issues. Of course, trusting our initial instincts is a protective mechanism when there’s a sense of uneasiness or honesty of another person.
Intuition steps in if any new or existing friendship consistently makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable and it’s wise to listen. A sense that someone is trying to control, even manipulate you is like a red flag, likely trying to alert you to potential issues. Words and actions which don’t align, stories constantly changing, all trigger your intuition and picking up on dishonesty. Don’t ignore any persistent, negative, feeling about someone, even if you’re unable to put your finger on the exact reason. Pay attention to how an individual’s presence makes you feel physically and emotionally, such feelings may align with your intuition. Observe their actions, how they treat you and others, how they look to create drama in situations in order to gain some misguided quest for attention. Sometimes, it’s advisable to try and have an honest conversation with that person, expressing concerns while avoiding accusations; speak with trusted friends or family members to get their insights.
Where all friendships are concerned, definitely trust your gut but always be open to learning. It’s important to trust our intuition but never lose sight of the fact that it is not perfect. Remain open to challenge those gut feelings, give people a chance while always being mindful of your boundaries.
“Friends, foes; the pretense” hints at the complex and often deceptive nature of relationships. It suggests that appearances can be deceiving, and those we perceive as close friends, even just acquaintances, might harbor ill intentions with a hidden agenda.
From the Writer’s Workshop: What is more important to you, having a bunch of friends or having a couple of very close friends? Explain. How well do you trust your gut feelings?