Lost in the crowd…

Each year at this time, as the clock strikes midnight and the door opens with a new year waiting on the other side, we often wonder how much life will change in the months ahead. One thing, at least for me, is the superficiality of various social and business related gatherings, the masks people wear, the lack of genuine listening, all which highlight a common truth in that true and honest connections can be difficult to find in settings such as these.

Let’s face it, we all have a desire for empathy, for someone to ask, “are you okay” or “do you need anything”, both which speaks to a fundamental human need for validation and support.

We have all been forced into environments which have drained us, most exhausting and yielding no real fulfillment; we need to prioritize such spaces where we can be our genuine self, being part of an organization, a community, where people accept us for who we are, rather than what we project. It makes all the difference when one opts not to follow a crowd to avoid getting lost in one.

Somewhere along the way, we often stop caring, we simply stop asking and that’s likely why it feels that we’re drifting apart from established connections, or groups, in our lives; likely a textbook defense mechanism. We still meet with those considered friends, we talk, but conversations skim the surface and we chat about the mundane things, the weather, headlines, about things that really don’t touch what we’re really about. We talk so that we don’t have to say the real things, a quiet kind of sadness, the kind that doesn’t shout but just lingers in our background like a dull hum.

And maybe that’s the quiet tragedy, so many of us carrying invisible baggage, passing each other in various situations, smiling in photos, laughing at jokes, while inside we’re hoping someone will notice without us having to say a word.

From The Writer’s Workshop: Write a post in exactly nine (9) sentences.

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Once bitten…

 

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Not that anyone asked, or is even interested in knowing, one of my biggest defense mechanisms has always been putting up safe barriers.  Anytime my comfort zone feels threatened, the wall goes up.  Fast!

I’ve made the mistake of getting too close to people and quickly opt to curtail any means of communication with them.  The old, once bitten, twice shy, kicks into full overdrive and I run for cover.  We all do that, I’m sure.  At least I’d like to think so.  From lying low on social media sites, ignoring private messages and just becoming somewhat invisible, it happens.

Frankly, even though all the avoidance fundamentals are in perfect harmony, this can be a big mistake.  Like, what does it really prove?  The result often can be to lose people who needed to be shaken off from my life but others who really matter get dumped in the process.  Putting up some damn unreachable barrier is an act of self-preservation focused on keeping ourselves from getting hurt.  Again.

But, and this is a really big “but” …the true loss is closing oneself off from people who always shared their concern, affection and love.  And plain old friendship, to boot.

Time to do an about face and never close up like that again.  Despite the pain, continue to open up while remembering that vulnerability does not equate to weakness, it refers to the ability to trust in yourself.  You, me, the other person…hey, we will all be okay in the long run.  Hurt happens but move past it and learn to trust.  By opening that door of trust, hopefully, we will all be treated right.  And learn to do the same in return.

 

workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write about a mistake you made.

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