Is rejection protection?

There is that need, a fundamental one, to be accepted by others, to belong, and such an innate innate drive for social connections means that rejection, whether real or perceived, can be deeply painful. Many of the same brain regions which are involved in physical pain, lead to feelings of hurt and of distress; many of us have been turned down, dismissed, or not accepted at some point in various aspects of life, including relationships, job positions, social groups or personal endeavors.

It’s a common experience that most will encounter at some point, and it can bring forth a range of intense emotions, starting with hurt. Impacted feelings is often a consistent and direct reaction, triggered by the perception that others just do not value a relationship. with the most intense hurt frequently emanating from familial situations.

Then, we have social media and online interactions which create entirely new avenues for rejection, completely blowing situations out of proportion in some cases. Such rejections in this context can be more public, definitely visible, and can lead to increased feelings of shame and embarrassment. Of course, this can be painful but there can be coping mechanisms which allow for growth and resilience.

If we move to accept the reality of a rejection by acknowledging our feelings and allow time for processing we then can learn to recognize that such rejection is often situational and not a reflection of our overall worth. Reach out to friends, family or other means for emotional support and perspective, engage in positive activities, view any rejection as a learning opportunity and a chance to develop new skills or pursue different paths.

Attempt to counter negative thoughts with positive affirmations whenever possible, move to develop coping skills, set necessary boundaries in our social media circles and focus on real-life connections. By doing so, we can navigate rejection effectively, build resilience, emotional protection, and move forward toward personal growth and fulfilling connections.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a post based on the word rejection. Write a post in exactly 11 sentences.

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Alone, in a familiar place…

During a recent conversation with a client, I was asked “why, at this point in your life are you still working?” That bad little voice inside my head immediately wanted to reply with “are you fucking kidding me?” but my well-behaved voice replied politely, hidden behind an orchestrated smile. Difficult, overall, considering that I had bitten my tongue in the process. Down deep inside, the comment left me feeling very alone, in a familiar place.


In all fairness, do most people look at those of us who are in our older years and visualize us traveling some continent or, worse yet, sitting in some pasture, waiting for the sun to rise and set again? The question posed was understandable, yet, still kind of thoughtless. Since the start of the manufactured pandemic a few years ago, the entire workplace structure has been fairly impacted, something I’ve railed on about previously and continue to do so; it has not and will not die easily, at least not in my remaining lifetime. People look to work longer, some, out of necessity or boredom. Also, they still have the ability to remain useful in their chosen field of employment but the big issue is just how older individuals are honestly valued at their given place of employment! Too many find themselves slowly phased out, both where a given schedule is concerned along with reduced financial compensation. Employers feel that once retirement age hits, there’s a huge money cushion that older employees can fall back on, as such, salaries and associated benefits are greatly affected. In addition, companies constantly bring in younger, inexperienced, hires on a lower pay scale and use the older, established employees to train the proverbial new kids on the business block. The next move is to just about always offer the senior employees a buyout or simply terminate their employment.

The unfortunate situation is that, very often, one becomes an outsider in their current work environment, looking in from an uncomfortable distance with each passing day. Job loyalty no longer exists and any continuation of employment finds itself entirely on new terms with a take it or leave it scenario. We often hear about “60 being the new 40”, a popular expression that reflects a societal shift in how people perceive and experience aging, particularly in their 60’s and beyond. It suggests that older individuals today are often as active, healthy, and engaged in life, more so as in previous generations, all capable of bringing their expertise in their chosen field of employment. Most, like myself, work to feel useful, to make a difference, and for decent financial compensation. While the advancements in healthcare, along with lifestyle changes bring a more positive outlook on aging, the operative word is “positive”, except in today’s workplace, where it should be easy enough for an older person to remain productive. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

What’s the end result? Working in a limited position, looking in on all that was once familiar from a detached perspective, feeling excluded and not fully understanding that what you once managed and created no longer matters. Now, you find yourself nothing more than an underpaid familiar face with so much still left to offer, yet completely out of place.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Where is the last place you’ve been where you felt completely out of place? What’s something that you find difficult, but you think in your mind should be easy?

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A doubtful path…

Possibly, feeling a great deal of uncertainty is something many of us feel when we land on the back nine of our lives. The days of looking into a mirror and seeing only our image, not our inevitable mortality starting back, well, they’ve dwindled down significantly. That was a bonus of being young, never having to look too far forward, especially when our feet were firmly planted in whatever the present had to offer. Now, as the years continue to speed by, looking forward is a doubtful path.

Is it retrospective? Sweeping thoughts that bring so many questions about all we might have done differently on so many levels. Memories in the form of music remind us of simpler times when we had a large open window of growth and exploration ahead of us. Growing older brings about a range of concerns and doubts about our physical abilities, serious illnesses, loss of our independence, financial security, social and emotional well-being and loss.

Wrapped up in our doubts is the fear of death and dying. We have so many thoughts about mortality and the end of life that we often fail to find meaning and purpose in life, reflect on our legacies and accept that death is a natural part of the human experience.

Growing older doesn’t necessarily mean a decline in our quality of life and I personally attempt to accept and acknowledge the inevitable change by reframing any in a positive manner. Staying mentally and physically active while enjoying social connections helps to address any challenges and embrace the aging process, living a productive life as long as possible. Still, the doubts linger, gathering like a crowd of unanswered questions, as life’s hourglass keeps measuring the passage of time.

From the Writer’s Workshop: What are you currently doubting in your life?

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