Bucket list…

The chance to say hello again is a gift, one not to be taken lightly.  

How many of us have had the opportunity to reconnect with family or friends separated by time and circumstances?  I’ve been blessed a great deal this past year which started with my high school reunion and the renewal of many friendships along with several new ones.  Then, something I dreamed would never take place finally did when the son I put up for adoption reached out to find me after forty-seven years, the best gift of all!

There was one more special reunion with someone who had always rested in a soft spot in my mind, a first love that went back to junior high school.  A simple message on Facebook one day opened a door to remembering, laughing and sharing two lives that painfully parted in typical teen-age heartbreak more than fifty years ago.  It was nice to talk once again, as old friends.

We both shared our stories of family drama, things everyone experiences, coping with all that is good, bad or indifferent.   He spoke about not fully understanding how and why things take a negative turn in life, especially his, but he did so with kindness and a certain acceptance that so much of what we deal with is God’s plan.

He had Cancer.  Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to be exact.  He was in somewhat of a remission when we first started talking, his spirits were great and he spoke often about a favorite movie called “The Bucket List”.  He urged me to watch it and I asked if he had a list of his own, which he most certainly did.  The list was made up of just two things, buying himself a new Mercedes and taking a trip with a close friend to Mackinac Island.  It seems that his buddy was fixated on a movie called “Somewhere in Time” and wanted to visit the Michigan hotel where the film was made.  I smiled to myself, visualizing the two of them heading out on this road trip but encouraged him to grab that proverbial bucket and go! 

As too often happens where Cancer is concerned, things started deteriorating.  Our conversations became fewer as he again started Chemotherapy; it weakened him considerably and his positive spirit desperately struggled with the side-effects of the treatments.  A few weeks ago, I texted him to see how he was doing.  He replied “At hospital, talk later”   I never heard from him again, he passed away on September 1st.

Now, I keep thinking about the whole bucket list deal, about how we all need to have wishes and dreams, just as he did.   What’s important is to act on many of these things while we can.  Just do it!  Enjoy whatever life has to offer while there is still time.  Renew friendships, apologize where needed, make peace and move beyond past transgressions, walk in the rain, savor every sunrise, every sunset and catch snowflakes on your tongue.

Live…like you were dying.

 

 

From the inspiring Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop...Write a blog post inspired by the word: bucket

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I cheated a bit on this prompt. I do that, now and then.  Written in 2015, and shared on a previous prompt, I’ve chosen still not to change anything from when I first wrote this post.   It’s kind of difficult to change anything about this story or re-write it with a new outlook.   Easier to reflect on an old friendship from simpler times and maybe, just maybe, start adding a few things to my own bucket list….while there’s still time!

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Goodbye, again…

 

That familiar song played softly in the background, their song; simple lyrics that were once so special,  just to them.   So many years had passed but not the tender memories.  The long separation of time seemed not to exist even though life had taken them in different directions.   Each laughed as they remembered so many things from back then, especially the innocence of their youth.   They shared joyful experiences and spoke of unfulfilled dreams as their realities started drifting into the conversation.   Both silently wondered, imagined, and chose to leave painful things unsaid.

Suddenly, there was nothing more to say except goodbye, again.

 

 

From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop….one of the choices for this week’s prompts was….Write a blog post in exactly 7 lines.  

Not easy for someone like me who loves to write at length, about anything and everything, but it was a good exercise in getting a story out while staying within the guidelines.  I thought back to reunions, especially high school ones; everyone meets, reminisces, and then slowly drifts back into their little corner of the world. 

 

Mama’s Losin’ It

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I wish I could…

Let’s put honesty on the line here….who hasn’t yearned to turn back time a good number of years?  And, the reasons why?

Now that I have you thinking, I’ll share a few of the thoughts that run through my head quite often.

I wish I could go back in time to when I was in school and not always be the outsider, longing to be part of one clique or another.  Back to the joy and heartbreak of that first, tender, teen-aged romance when just a glimpse of him made my heart skip and stomach twinge with excitement.  Back to unrealized dreams of success because I didn’t take school seriously.

I wish I could experience the joy of my children as babies and have a chance for a do-over, avoiding so many mistakes as their mother.   Enjoy them more and be less focused on pushing them to grow up.  And away.

I wish I could have learned so much more from those who left this earth, some too soon.  Answers to questions that I neglected to ask while there was still time.   Questions that remained unanswered and apologies that were never shared.  Good-byes that came too late. 

I wish I could learn not to let thoughts wake me in the middle of the night, pounding inside my head like an unwelcome visitor at my front door. 

I wish I could be assured that this world, once I leave it behind, will be a better place for my children, grandchildren and all who follow.  Fear of that unknown is almost paralyzing.

I wish I could enjoy the magnificent beauty of nature that surrounds me but…that takes more time than work allows.  For now, I can only admire it through someone else’s vision.

 

                                                                                                                 

 

And, sometimes I wish I could just hit fast-forward on time to see if in the end it’s all worth it!

 

 

 

Mama’s Losin’ It

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