Silence speaks…

They called out my name time and again, but were met with nothing but silence.. How many of you reading this have experienced hearing your name called by several people, or just one person, either while sleeping, when home alone or even in a crowd? It might come across as a sharp voice in the night, a whisper from somewhere in the house or a simple nudge of the wind when out somewhere. We waken, with a bit of a jolt and look over our shoulder into the darkness. In a crowd, we search unknown faces for someone familiar. At home, we pause whatever we’re doing, look down the hallway or stairway. We wait for the mysterious whisper to repeat itself, this time with a bit more clarity and more familiarity.

I’ll bet it’s happened to you, hasn’t it? How did you respond IF you responded? I, for one, never have, not verbally, anyway. In my mind, I usually ask what the voice wants and do so politely. You never know who might be on the other side.

If ever I hear a voice while sleeping, I give myself time to wake up and think about where that dream was taking me. While home alone and a somewhat familiar voice calls my name in the stillness of the house, it usually takes me back to when my mother and her Alzheimer’s briefly lived with us. They were quite a strong-willed team. Back then, mother never called me by my name (she no longer knew me), it was usually a demanding, bellowing, profanity-laced, vocalization from our guest room. From behind her closed door, there were names I never heard before or comments I’ll avoid sharing here.

When out at a social event, or in a crowd, now and then I’ve heard my name called. That very well may have been directed to someone else called “Patty” but the sound of the voice was very familiar. The more I looked around, and listened, it quickly faded away and the silence that followed was full of unspoken, unanswered, questions.

Of course, our memories often replay the sounds of familiar voices which make it seem as if someone is calling out to us even when no one is there. It’s a brain game. Many like to believe that some spiritual entity is trying to reach out to us and the silence which follows is because a message was lost or unable to be delivered. Then, there’s the possibility of a premonition. Possibly, an important event, not necessarily bad or good, is about to take place. Taking steps further, the spirit behind the voice might be lonely and seeking to reach out for reasons unknown. Perhaps, the attempt is to make amends for a past transgression or seek validation from a hurt received; the entity behind the voice might want to warn of danger or even something a great deal more sinister. The silence that follows can be almost deafening.

However any of us have been met with silence, have responded the same way, and whether we choose to investigate further, will then shape the directions that our stories take. Such stories are meant to be shared. Silence seems to have a voice all its own.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a story starting with the line “They called out her name time and again, but were met with nothing but silence.”

Signature

Seasonal struggle…

As one gets older, there is a tendency to hang onto traditions, especially seasonal ones. Once again, I find myself writing about this as the holidays are on their way and pretty much nothing has changed in recent years. Given the upheaval caused by the pandemic invasion and accompanying restrictions a few years ago, much of what had been “the holiday norm” has fallen by the wayside, along with many changes. Then, enter all the political warfare which has followed, many remaining family traditions, and relationships, have sadly disintegrated. I know that mine has. Personally, all of this has left me somewhat upset over various cruelly discarded traditions which have been impacted by outside sources. Plus, there’s such a great deal of overwhelming combativeness that has driven wedges into families everywhere. Plans, you might ask? There really are none. The seasonal sadness is slowly setting in as the real world outside stumbles along.

I keep wondering how other families have, or continue, to deal with all of this. After all, people grow, the family structure changes and life manages to take unexpected turns. Some things just cannot go on forever, I realize this. But, here and now is the time we’ve all been given and forever isn’t part of our long-term picture. I recently shared my frustration with a family member who told me, “well, at least you have your memories.” Really? A vague generalization at best and a somewhat unacceptable statement to share when someone just has a longing to enjoy, experience and make new memories before time runs out.

Before anyone mentally lectures me, I’m well aware that change is inevitable, traditions end and we cease doing things exactly the same, year after year, some for possibly good reason. But, when there is a willingness to be creative, flexible and remain civil and loving towards each other, families can reinvent when change is needed. Am I right? It’s a balance of familiarity and new ideas that keeps holidays feeling meaningful. The big issue is trying to get around so many emotional issues which always manage to rear their ugly heads when the holidays arrive. And, given the ongoing political undercurrent, any glimmer of hope, which might bring a tolerance and acceptance for differing ideas, rather than the cold wars causing divided families, well, that seems pretty damn unlikely to ever occur in many sad situations.

The big question, what to do? Possibly be open to making bigger changes, especially when it’s too emotionally challenging to deal with fractured family situations in the same place, eating the same foods before any traditional loss took place. As painful as it might be, deciding to opt out of certain gatherings altogether might feel more comfortable. Try and keep any anger, any bitterness aside, and attempt to include estranged family members; making any connection with those you are missing can be healing. Or not. At least give it a try. Be the better person and be gentle with each other, keeping in mind that the holidays raise the emotional stakes. It might be hard, even damn difficult, but by attempting to be kind and compassionate with each other as we try to celebrate is important.

Trust me, it’s not always easy but, be gentle with each other, and remember that the holidays raise the stakes. The input from holiday smells and familiar songs makes it easier to remember previous holidays and compare them to our current ones. Those memories and traditions that we might lose can be hard to bear at this time of year. Emotions run high and, as difficult as it may be, being extra kind with each other as we make decisions about how to celebrate is worth the effort, especially with our dwindling trips around the sun.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Tell us about your plans for the holidays. Tell us how the real world affects your writing.


Signature

Dreams in the wind…

Even as I’ve held on, with an almost death grip, the balloons floated away along with all my hopes and dreams. Is this some mental “phase” as one grows older, the painful realization that a cherished future is no longer possible and the powerful emotional shift from holding onto dreams and finally accepting that they are gone?

Many of us have experienced the end of a relationship or friendship, some long-held ambition that has failed, a professional setback or moving on from grief. We may struggle to move beyond a given incident. Any transition we might go through can bring feelings of excitement or confusion and it feels like one more balloon slipping away. We become aware that we want more from life, feeling dissatisfied with our current status, kind of a double- edged sword which leaves us feeling energized or downright confused. From this point, a new phase may surface where we accept ourselves and others, understanding that everything has a purpose and that everyone has flaws.

This is where I presently find myself. Figuratively clutching a bunch of balloons, holding onto some for dear life and letting others go, almost with a vengeance. We all know that the inspiration by a balloon release has the meaning behind this phrase as figurative, not literal, as each one represents a hope, a dream, a goal, or intention. Colorful and light, each one holds some promise of soaring to great heights but, as they float away, the symbolism points to letting go or giving up something precious. Let’s face it, when any balloon floats away, it is an irreversible release. When any of these colorful objects disappear into the sky, there is a sense of helplessness; emptiness grasps us with a sense of fading hopes. The sight of them drifting out of our sight can be both beautiful and heartbreaking. Sometimes, even a relief.

What then, should our focus be? I keep thinking about what mine should be and that is learning, building something new and, just plain, surviving, my best answer. Any current personal phase is a temporary period in life marked by many things, it’s more fluid than a defined “life stage” and can blend with other phases, change, or persist for several years. Reaching in to explore what makes us who we are, while identifying our values and purpose, helps us to better understand ourselves and just where our place is in the world. Sound like a plan?

Perhaps our weaknesses can be mixed in with the balloons that float away but our strengths can be found with any new balloons that we grasp as tightly as possible and with more defined purpose. We then hope that our dreams don’t drift off into the wind.

White Background Balloon Clip Art ...


From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a story starting with the line “The balloons floated away along with all my hopes and dreams.” / Tell us about the phase you’re going through currently.



Signature