Once bitten…



Not that anyone asked, or is even interested in knowing, one of my biggest defense mechanisms has always been putting up safe barriers.  Anytime my comfort zone feels threatened, the wall goes up.  Fast!

I’ve made the mistake of getting too close to people and quickly opt to curtail any means of communication with them.  The old, once bitten, twice shy, kicks into full overdrive and I run for cover.  We all do that, I’m sure.  At least I’d like to think so.  From lying low on social media sites, ignoring private messages and just becoming somewhat invisible, it happens.

Frankly, even though all the avoidance fundamentals are in perfect harmony, this can be a big mistake.  Like, what does it really prove?  The result often can be to lose people who needed to be shaken off from my life but others who really matter get dumped in the process.  Putting up some damn unreachable barrier is an act of self-preservation focused on keeping ourselves from getting hurt.  Again.

But, and this is a really big “but” …the true loss is closing oneself off from people who always shared their concern, affection and love.  And plain old friendship, to boot.

Time to do an about face and never close up like that again.  Despite the pain, continue to open up while remembering that vulnerability does not equate to weakness, it refers to the ability to trust in yourself.  You, me, the other person…hey, we will all be okay in the long run.  Hurt happens but move past it and learn to trust.  By opening that door of trust, hopefully, we will all be treated right.  And learn to do the same in return.


workshop-button-1From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…Write about a mistake you made.



  1. Trudy says:

    I love the title of your blog.

    Thanks for sharing about the walls you put up. I’m guilty of that, too, at times. I’m working on some of my walls… chiseling away to remove them.

    • Patty says:

      Oh yes, that chiseling. Bit by bit, carefully done while looking over your shoulder. It can be a lot of work to make necessary changes!

      Life, for those of us always on the defense, can indeed be its own cautionary tale.

      Thank you, Trudy! Stay safe!

  2. BEVERLY says:

    Sometimes it’s difficult make choices like that. One definitely wants to weed out “toxic” and destructive people, or the overly demanding, but not the rainy-day friends. Have you ever looked up “Highly Sensitive People”? (I’m one) Such people are sensitive to being overwhelmed mentally & emotionally and need a high margin of calm and sense of safe routine around them.

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