Some reasons to be missed…

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
‘Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I’m done here?

 

From the moment I first heard it, this song, from the movie “Twilight”, captured my soul.  Haunting words and music that run through my mind as I rush through these golden years frantically trying to put my little world in order.

I don’t know if it’s just me, at this stage of my life, wondering about what I’ll leave behind.  Not material things, mind you, but the quality of memories in the minds of those closest to me, the people I’ve loved in my lifetime.

So much of what we speak about, on an almost daily basis, involves time; never having enough of it and painfully watching it speed past us with each passing year.

I worry about the mistakes I’ve made which might overshadow any of the positive things I’ve accomplished.  Let’s face it, when someone dies, everyone gathers to celebrate that departed life, in some fashion.  And then, time passes, softening the sorrow and sentimental imagery.  Painful thoughts, like sharp pricks of a pin, bring reminders of unhappy times, causing people to deliberately not think about that name engraved on a slab of marble.  That name, which once represented a loving human being, all too often, ends up being forgotten in a crowded field of hallowed ground.

We clean out our closets and attics, ridding ourselves of needless accumulations.  As our mortality stares back at us in a mirror, we rush to mend broken family fences or renew old friendships, keeping a wary eye on that mystical hourglass of time.  Why don’t we have this fear when we’re young enough to change things and mold our lives in a more positive direction?  This so-called wisdom we achieve in later life could be put to so much better use when there is an expanse of time still to be enjoyed…and fulfilled.

I want to be remembered, not with tears but with smiles.  Spare me any resentment, please don’t allow my memory to harbor thoughts of anger or emptiness; any of this would mean that my time on earth was wasted.

For now, I’m working very hard on some reasons to be missed.

 

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest

 

 

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From Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop....Writing Prompts for January 9, 2020Take a line from a song you love and turn it into the title of your next blog post.  I cheated a bit here, no, make that more than just “a bit”.  This post was first written a little over six years ago and shared again for another response.  As they say, the melody lingers on and the words, the thoughts, still apply. There isn’t another song I love more.
 

 

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Comments

  1. Suzanne says:

    You only get a chance at wisdom after much experience in life… Speaking from my personal experience ~ I think memories about those who’ve past tend to blur out the bad and negative and focus in on the positive and good. This is the way we learn to be our best from those who are gone. Does that make sense? And you shouldn;t worry about being missed. That is a given! 😀

    • Patty says:

      Definitely, Suz…experiences, good or bad, teach us well. And, we often stumble along our way. The passing of time does soften much pervasive hurt but not all.

      Thank you for missing me, hopefully years from now. I’ll look down from the heavens (or maybe up from that other place) and smile at your painting of me.

      Love you!

  2. Jaimie says:

    Being a major fan of them since back in their early years, I’ve known this song since it was released. It was always one that resonated very similarly to me. Thank you for that reminder in this time of year when I will see most of those bits of family I don’t see as much as I would like, reminding me to reach out that bit more.

    • Patty says:

      Sometimes, those words & music just reach in and grab hold of your heart. This song did it for me. I have it as a ring tone and made my kids promise to play it at my memorial service. Of course, that’s if they give me one when I pass…hopefully YEARS from now. Can’t trust your kids!

      Thanks, Jaimie!

  3. Lori says:

    Insightful post. I think about that too. The time to mend wrongs and relationships worth having is now because who knows what the future brings. Visiting from Mama Kat’s. 🙂

  4. carol says:

    I love your post. And I so whole heartedly agree with Suzanne. When we lose someone we love, the negative never comes into play… just love and good memories. It seems like the older we get, the more we think about these things and hope that we have made a difference in someone’s life. For me… it is family. I don’t need to make a mark on the world, but want to be loved and treasured by family.

    From personal experience, my husband and I lost eight members of our family in just 8 short years. About one a year. Both our parents, husband’s infant grandson and a brother, and I a daughter in 2013 of an act of domestic violence. Losing a loved one very close to you changes you. For me it was one of turning completely to the Lord and letting His atonement bring peace, comfort, and healing. The greatest blessing comes in all the good and wonderful memories that can never be erased.

    Thanks for this lovely post. It was so insightful and reflective. Hope to be able to read much more. And thanks for visiting me… Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.

    • Patty says:

      One thing you said, “I don’t need to make a mark on the world, but want to be loved and treasured by family”…well, it’s been sitting softly in my mind.

      Thank you for that!

  5. carol says:

    I made a comment by don’t see it so I’m posting again. If you get a duplicate, please delete one.

    Just wanted you to know Patty what a wonderful post this is. And, I wholeheartedly agree with Suzanne. When a loved one passes away, we only remember the good and our hearts are filled with love for them.

    I think the older we get the more we think on these things and reflect on our lives, hoping we made a difference. For me, I don’t need to make a mark on the world, just my family. I want them to know of my faith and testimony and that I loved them.

    From personal experience my husband and I lost 7 members of our immediate family in 8 years. Almost one a year. Both parents of my husband and myself, my husband an infant grandson and a brother, and I a 32 year old daughter in 2013, from an act of domestic violence. Death comes in many ways, none are ever easy. But one thing is for certain, when they do leave us we immediately think on all the good memories and the love we had for this person. They become immortal to any wrongs. We will be the same way.

    Thanks for posting this beautiful and insightful post today. I needed to read it. Your words spoke directly to my heart. I hope to read much more. And, thanks for visiting my blob. Merry Christmas!

    • Patty says:

      How lucky am I to have two, very thoughtful, comments from you Carol!

      My heart breaks for the losses of loved ones in your life, especially your daughter. I cannot begin to fathom the pain of losing a child, no matter what age.

      From a distance, all I can offer are prayers and heartfelt wishes for a blessed and peaceful Christmas.

      Thank you!

  6. Kat says:

    Beautifully said! It’s always good to remind ourselves to be the type of person we want others to remember and smile over. All this stuff in our lives is just stuff.

    • Patty says:

      How very true…the “stuff” that weighs us down is so not worth the time spent trying to sort it all out.

      Thank you so much for visiting!

  7. Kat says:

    Reading this with fresh eyes and it’s amazing how my perspective and take away has evolved. Not changed entirely, but when you originally published it 6 years ago, my oldest was only 10. Now we’re looking at colleges. 🙁 Time does move too fast and I also find myself overthinking who I’ve been…mostly as a mom. Why did I get so frustrated sometimes? Will they grow up thinking I yelled too much? Why didn’t I build snowmen in the snow with them? It’s easy to be critical of ourselves when we aren’t feeling the demands of that time and why we acted the way we did. There are so many outliers affecting our decision making at any given time. It’s too easy now to reflect in my quiet house why I didn’t do better when it was loud…if that makes sense at all. Anyway, thank you for re-linking this!

    • Patty says:

      Thanks so much, Kat. Hindsight is indeed 20/20 and, how much would we change if given a chance for a do-over. Would the pressures of life be any different, more, less or the same? Everything combined which affected so much of how we acted, thought…everything that might have made us a better parent? Or, possibly, we were on the exact path that was always meant to be.

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